my pictures of zoba for elise.

this first picture is the day i found archie had come out of hiding while everyone was waiting for thomas to get there.









the second picture is just a random day.. great smiles!
and i dont know this last one, but she sure can stare!!
i love this little kid.. happy birthday so! (elise i hope you show her! lol)

Christmas List for Myself..

I am not asking for any of these things. These are things I would like to be able to get myself this Christmas or possibly when tax returns come around.

• A handgun. I like to go shooting. It stinks having to borrow one every time I would like to go.
• A new bed. This one is just old, killing my back.
• Out of collections. I am almost there, $250.00 and I will be done! WOO HOO!
• The two Post Secret books I do not have. I already have MYSECRET and A Lifetime of Secrets. They are both great.
• A new compact from MAC. Although this one will probably last until late Jan, maybe Feb.
• A nice little box of Godiva or See's. I haven't treated myself in quite a while.

I can't think of anything else I want that should be on that list. I mean nothing realistic. I could add a new car on there but that so wont happen! LOL Just figured if I put it in writing I might be more determined to get some of this stuff. :)

Best Buy is more retarded then ever!!

I took my computer in. Paid the $60 to have a diagnostics run. Leave it over night. Next day I get a phone call. Go to the store. "Miss, you are going to need a new mother board." At the minimum, these run about $200+ and mine would probably be much more plus.. The labor is another $200. Man, I can't afford that. So I call Dawn, her son Daniel is pretty computer geek smart. Leave it there for a few hours. Theres nothing wrong with it. My computer works fine. All he did was completely take it apart and put it back together. So something might have just been out of place. Right now I would LOVE to go down to best buy to be a big ol jerk about them giving me a false diagnosis on my computer. you know how much wasted money that would have been if i would have let them do that?!?!?! AHHH I know sometimes that is just the place to shop, but I am fed up with them. Not the first time I have been annoyed. stupid camera warranties that don't actually cover anything!!


either way, I'm back and my comp works.. hooray! <3

super sad... wont be online much..

my computer monitor broke.. it gets power but the screen wont turn on. hooray. not. anyways, i wont be online much til i get a new one. my roommate was cool enough to let me use hers for a few minutes. so everyone have a great weekend and call or text cause i'll be bored!!!!

betcha this little girl could take on the world..

somday she will..

crazy? most likely. sleep deprived? not yet.

Are you happy? I mostly am. I have finally set some kind of goals for myself. Not that I always fallow through. More often then not I start something and then lose motivation. How do we keep ourselves motivated to keep pushing to the end of our goals?
~

Pretty much I have just been lying in bed reading for the last hours an a half hoping to fall asleep. I remember always falling asleep while reading. I am now not only not asleep, but I can not stop thinkings about so many different thoughts. The more I try to get them out of my head and relax to fall asleep the more I seem to be thinking. Maybe it's just cause I am reading now. I haven't really read a book in a while. I bought a few with Emily while she was in town. I started reading one, but it down maybe 30 pages into the book. I picked it up the next night, tried to put it down and go to sleep but ended up staying awake until 7am just to finish reading. It really wasn't anything more then a high school nerd story type of book.
~

I don't really know what this blog is about. Really I just can't sleep. I am never good with words so I can't seem to write what I am really thinking. Maybe I should just make a list. Although sitting here longer just keeps me awake that much longer. Oh well, before you know it, I will be on the same schedule as all of you are on. Wake up super early, and actually sleep at night. I don't quite know how I will adjust to that after being on my odd schedule for so long. I like it, but really, the opportunities and people I miss out on because I am always at work while life goes on I am sure are more then I want to know.

• -how am i going to afford to live on my own and pay for school?
• -when can i get rid of this crappy job to start school?
• -can i make my car really last for another year at the very least? who knows when i will be able to get a new one. not while i am in school or just starting out my new career.
• -how long will it take me to find that guy who i want to spend the rest of my life with. to have my own family and not just watch all my friends have theirs?
• -how can i hold on to money when i am not even out of debt?
• -what if i fail in school again?
• -what if i choose the wrong career? and will i even be happy doing it?

Those all sound so negative, but really I don't mean them to be. Just some thoughts. Maybe if I set them out there and don't just keep them in my head, I will do something about them. I really do, for the most part like my life. I am pretty much happy, but things will change, they have to and need to. It's a part of life. I am scared of change mostly I think because I have already gone through so much. I was always told by everyone as a youngster (teenager, or anything along those lines) that I was so grown up for my age. I may have been "grown up" or "mature" but I feel like I have found so much more about "grown up" within the last year. I really don't think I've been too childish. (thats not the wording I wanted to use, but again, not so good with words and I just can't get out what I mean..) My appearance and possibly attitude might appear so but, this is just me. I like me. I finally learned to stand up for myself. Do things for myself. Not that I couldn't before, and not that I have given up my caring nature, but I definitely have let myself let people push my limits. Take care of everything for someone else. Be what I thought might have been helpful but really, people still need to do things on their own. I still feel the need to make sure everyone I possibly can is taken care of, and to be there, but I can't hold the world together myself.
~

I kind of just wondered off there. I don't know exactly what my point was, sorry for that lol. (and yes, I really did laugh out loud) I know you all worry about me. I guess I worry about me too sometimes. I just want to say even though I may not know how the things I am trying to work toward will turn out, I think I am making some positive choices. I am content with myself right now.
~

I am still not tired.. I don't really know what I was trying to write here. This whole jumbled mess though, it's all just running through my head. It didn't really help get anything off my mind. I think I will reread this before work. Then I will decide if i should keep or delete it. I mean.. haha this whole blog is a mess. Hey there Mrs. English Teacher, how would I make this into a nice essay? I don't even think there was an actual point to this one. Eh, hope all is well with all of you readers out there.

id just like to say..

look how similar ian and karsten (sp?) look.. they are so cute!!



actually i cant link the one i wanted of karsten, but look at toms and natalies rescent post with the chicken pocks.. those kids looks the same!!! AWW.

yeah..

yowsa!

So the last few days I felt kind of icky. Half the people I know have been getting sick too. I just wanted to express my love of the Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. YUM! Its great and its quick. It doesnt compare to the awesomeness of Nana B's homemade soup, which I can make but not to the degree of yummy that she can. For now though, I will enjoy my 64 cent can of soup. And I will be posting pictures of my costume again soon. I wore it to work today.